I'm So Happy!

This song sums up my mood most recently. I dropped a zero(on to the next)...getting used to my new peaceful crib...met a cutie(Belly!)...gained some weight back(my booty is back!)...reconnecting spiritually...dope girl talks(luv ya Ang & Billi B.)...on top of everything else that has been happening! I haven't felt like this in a looooooooong time. Waiting for the glow to reappear now. As Monica sings "...even my skin is changing...". But most importantly, I am getting back into my fashion stuff fully. So yeah...I'm happy.

What is love?

So what is love? Sad, but I know the answer to this...cause I been in love and played wifey in my past life. I truly think since I was blessed with a love life last decade(you can say that now), that it may be time to focus more on my career and goals. I think that sometimes you can't have both, when trying to achieve one. Makes sense? Probably not. So here we go...a new year...and trying to gain a new outlook on things. I will continue to listen to Vivian Green-What is love, in search of my new love...Me.

.....

As I sit here drinking champagne straight from the bottle, listening to some new J. Davey, watching Stepbrothers on mute...I reflect on parts of the year...things I want to change, how I want to be perceived as a human being...should I masturbate or not in the next 10 min. I will say this...what a rough year it has been. Not only have I moved like a Robocop...but I have been mad lazy. Yes, I admit it. I sorta jumped out my body to do some other work. Nothing beneficial to me. I found my purpose in life in '05...to inspire. Now I am trying to find the best ways to use this super power. My horoscope outlook for Scorpio said I would be going through good changes in my career and love life. Boy do I need those changes!! Single for three years...but a drama filled single life. Career has been all about finding myself in what I am doing. Its so funny. I look at pics of myself from '07, '08...and I look happy...stressed...but there was an innocent glow. I want that back. I need that back. And I will not let anyone steal that from me. At least not in 2010. My astrology sign is known to transform...and I am so ready to do just this...TRANSFORM. I only ask that when I do transform...I can turn blue. Anyhoo...I think its cliche to say pray for me...so I will say...stay tuned. : )

Ugh....

I knew today was gonna be a blah day just from me being woke so early in the morning. I am stuck in a rut and am having feelings of emptiness. My period is on its way out the door, so I can't blame it on that...I dunno. I just wanna throw the covers over my head and stick my thumb in my mouth. I am so used to giving out advice, that I now need a little given back. Hopefully things will lift up....yeaaaaahh.

I gotta fast car

WTF! I had a roller coaster of a weekend. Yesterday, I was involved in a car accident with a friend of mine. WE were on our way to do some shopping when his Mustang was hit by a tow truck. Ouch!! It was so weird. I still can't believe it happened. Luckily my friend is a good defensive driver, because I would be dead. Real talk. The tow truck smashed into the passenger side of the car, where I was sitting. I got whiplash...that's about it for now. Shit, well I think. I am also sore as fuck. His car is damn near totaled. But I was a G, and we handled the accident in class and style. As if that matters, right? We got fucked up at the end of the night at his crib...he downed a whole bottle of SoCo, and slept with the bottle. Awww...so adorable.

zzzzzz's

So yeah...I got to much sleep over the Thanksgiving break. and now the life is probably sucked out of me. I feel like doing nothing. I don't feel creative or anything. I just feel like shopping, partying, and drinking. Sigh.

The 20-Somethings…

Once you get to your mid-twenties, you sorta go through an early mid life crisis. Questions arise…should I have kids, should I get married, am I doing what I love, will my metabolism slow down…shit like that. You evaluate all you’ve done, and wonder is it enough. I mean, imagine being 25….you are stuck in between innocence and adulthood. Its hella crazy. Like Michael Jackson. The other day my aunts’ friend (who can be irritating) stops by our crib to visit. It’s like a TV show neighbor. They pop in without a key or even a knock. Anyhoo, she tells me how her friends daughter has graduated from Dartmouth (like I really give a fuck), and she has two degrees, making that guap. It seems like she always mention her around me. Well she took it pretty far this particular day. She then goes to say that some people are just born with it…I asked, born with what? She then proceeds to say, you know, brains, to get far in life. WTF! She also starts to say, that you shouldn’t wait till you get pass 28 to have kids. Wow, well my life is all screwed up. And to put the nail in the coffin, she says that I haven’t found my niche, that’s all. My niche? Bitch, I ain’t some confused teenager! A What! I was already feeling down about myself, I just felt even worst. Let me put it to you like this folks, school ain’t for everybody. Granted, I did go, but I regret it. The education system is so screwed up. Let me give you an example, you have to have a child, or your parents need to be dead to get a free ride. See? My mom was dirt poor, and I still had to come out of my pockets. A refund check? Ha! I never saw one. I feel like listening to some Dead Prez right about now! Fuck you, and fuck the system. I am out to cheat the system, fudgefackers. To be continued…

No Caking Allowed!!

What is recurring epidemic that soooo many of our young adults been exposed to? You see it in the clubs, grocery stores, at movie theatres, and any other public place that you would not want to see it in! CAKING!!!! Ahhhhh...at last, a name to a disease. Is the power of the P.U.S.S.Y that strong? I mean really? Is he dicking you down that good? I mean please! This has gotten far enough! For us to always say negative things about love, we sure do wanna be in love! Come on people! What about our goals in life! How can you accomplish anything when you got a monkey hanging off your back at home? If they really love you, they would understand, right? I am tired of people stressing how they want to be famous, or how broke they are, when they are just sitting at home CAKING!!!!! WTF! Love will always be there my dearies....and if not, money will! See!!! I need our young people to snap out of it! The results of caking have ruined the lives of people around me! Unwanted babies, girlfriends that have gained weight, friends that don't want to go out, but I see their cheating spouses at the club...when will we learn people! When will we learn!